Recently my best friend had a beautiful baby girl. We all stood around and marvelled at this “tiny human being” as one of our friend’s calls her. She has pretty fingernails, pretty feet, she is just gorgeous!

So it lead me to look around and observe everyone.Where has this baby phenomena developed from and did I miss the hormone hand out when it passed?

Its like a mass cloud of must pro creation dust appeared and dumped over all my 20+ plus friends. All of a sudden conversations have turned from business and school to ” Should I do waitlist registration for pre and primary school?”, hearty exchanges of who is walking, not walking, pampers and university funds. You look at them all in wonder and slight awe, its amazing to see the transformation from girl to mother and one day maybe the Hormone Godmother may throw some magic dust my way, not now.

Does that make me selfish? According to some just saying “yes” is not enough, perhaps having it on a live ticker would be better, on a billboard.. heck a television ad would probably be the best thing. Sorry, I am still far too concerned with school, my extensions, my on and off struggle with weight. I still wake up every morning and check my phone with one eye open. I need coffee before I am socially acceptable to interact with. I am still deciding between yoga or a light jog.

I am still understanding who I am. Recently a friend sent me an article from a blog, where the author asked readers over 40 to voice things they wish they had been told when they were younger. There was the need to save for retirement, rainy day and health. However one response struck me in particular.

No one knows what they are doing.

What?

I remember re reading the paragraph with glee, dismay and confusion at the same time. So no one truly has their s**t together? And the classic, do not believe people who say they do. Everyone has doubt.

I think if I could have done flips, I would have done. I am not alone! Not saying I do not have vision, I still fight towards it daily, making small changes, big changes, closing doors and opening books.

But no one is perfect, it is not a disclaimer, it is reality. So while people play charades and parade around in their daily life, I will continue to make mistakes, try my best, sometimes feel like giving up, wonder what the hell I am doing, drink, smoke and be blunt.

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